I have been so emotional this past week for a million reasons. It has inspired to me look within, break every moment down, and feel my emotions by just sitting with them for awhile, and then letting them go.
In doing so, this has only fueled my fire and inspired me more! I feel so humbled and blessed to live this life, in these current times, and all the while being true to myself and following my bliss, even if others don't understand.
I would like to start with a somewhat silly story.
As many of you know, I work for a local elementary school as a reading assistant. Recently, I was able to take a break from the normal grind of going through letter sounds, sentences, words, sounding out, etc. on-line with the school kids.
Instead, I got to read some stories to them. The reading specialist teacher I work with is amazing! She left me books that were highly enjoyable and entertaining to the kids, each at their individual levels of reading skills. My favorite story was called, "Harley."
Harley is a llama. He was bought and hired by a shepherd woman after coyotes kept getting in the pasture and killing her sheep at night. Harley was just the right guard animal with the perfect temperament for the job of guard duty.
That is, when he wasn't having tantrums or spitting at people, haha! The images in this children's story have stuck in my mind. One night, I stayed awake picturing those coyotes from the story jumping over the fence to get to the unsuspecting and helpless sheep. The shepherd built the fences higher, but she knew that once the coyotes succeeded, they would be back, and come back they did. The coyotes still jumped the taller fence until Harley came into the fold.
I kept picturing OUR real, local coyotes jumping OUR fence (which it never occurred to me that they could) and getting my little goat Clover, or my vulnerable and helpless pony, Chewy.
When our horse Willow is left out in the field, she is perfectly capable of filling the role that Harley, the Llama in the story has. Willow snorts, runs, bucks, and has a powerful kick, but during the winter, she gets put in a shelter and paddock at night to encourage her to eat all her hay and stay under shelter during inclement weather. I can't help but think this set-up could make her vulnerable too.
Hoy. Can you say, "Overthinking much"?
Fortunately, the local coyotes always make their presence known to us by yipping and howling through the valley. May God bless Travis for always getting out of bed and going out to scare them off. It only takes making a bit of noise and they run elsewhere. Anyway, I enjoyed this book of Harley that also had very silly stories in it of Harley with the sheep, and the kids and I had a lot of laughs. Don't be surprised if I purchase a llama some day...Tee hee.
Next up, I will share that I spent Saturday morning in a blur of tears. Once again, as many of you are aware of, I have a mini pony named Chewy whom I took in a year ago after seeing him on the internet.
He had some hoof problems, but I thought I would take a chance on him because my horse needed a friend and I figured he was just the right addition to our little pasture gang. Since then, he has endured a myriad of vet appointments, blood draws, hoof trimmings, diet changes, medications and more!
To make a long story short, he actually has Cushing's disease, coffin bone rotation in one foot which I believe is causing bone degeneration, and he has metabolic and thyroid issues to boot. He is just not well, and while I have been able to give him some wonderful days, he has also had some pretty terrible ones too.
Recently, his hoof pain has returned despite all of my care and expense. It is not his fault. I wonder if I could be doing more, but the fact of the matter is, bone can not be fixed and Cushing's is a terrible disease that can reek havoc on the immune system.
I am bracing myself for making the difficult decision of laying Chewy to rest. The farrier will come out on Thursday and give me a better idea of the reason for Chewy's recent hoof pain, and I will go from there. I love this brave and strong pony so much but it is not fair to make him endure a life of pain that could go on for years.
What if there is another animal out there somewhere who needs my help? I have learned so much from Chewy that I wish I had known when he arrived, but at least now his struggles will not be in vain because his legacy of lessons will help another body and soul.
However, I selfishly am not ready to see him off yet!
The tears just came this weekend. Then I would gather my composure. And they would come again! Chewy is out there and he is not crying about his life. He is enduring and enjoying the best parts of his life as much as he can! Then so too, will I.
It is in the simple things like reading silly stories to children and getting slobbered on by a pony's muzzle, or smelling coffee in the morning and watching the hummingbirds, that keep my soul singing. Life is so precious that we must soak every minute detail of it in! Every emotion, struggle, triumph, and breath.
Since the weekend, I have kept myself extremely busy. Our little farm sells a small variety of fresh loaves of homemade bread, made by Yours Truly. We sell banana, cinnamon, wheat, white bread loaves, and I am working on perfecting my molasses bread and cinnamon rolls to expand the options.
Travis is working full time as an I.T. person as well as expanding his garden plots and produce. There is much planning to do to get ready for spring. We also have kids, and the animals to tend to, and all of our work on-line in sharing this journey. You are reading about it as we speak.
There is more than enough work to keep my mind preoccupied while I wait for the farrier day to arrive. I know that my heart is breaking for Chewy but I truly am grateful for him and for the health that he does possess and the health that the rest of us all have.
We have a handful of senior animals, including a horse, that are living long and vibrant full lives. Us human family members are healthy and well. It is beautiful here where we live. The people are beautiful. The nature is beautiful. The animals and creatures are beautiful. Just...everything is beautiful!
I want to thank you dearly for sharing in our life. Especially those who love the animals as much as I do and have even donated toward vet care and feeds this past year. We could not have managed without you and our story could be vastly different without you. May you all be as blessed as we are.
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Many blessings to you all!
Amy Darr
3 Corners Farm
Mosier Or. U.S.A.
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