Greetings to all! I have been working on myself, and reveling in my family, home, and life since my last blog post. There has been so much happening at break neck speed that I kept pushing this blog post off, not knowing how to word it all, or where to begin. Then I had a light bulb moment in remembering that I keep a simple and quick daily journal, and I can use that to my advantage here.
For those of you who are new to this blog, my name is Amy and I love to write. I am keeping a blog of all the happenings in my families' life since moving to our little modern day homestead in Oregon. Since then, both my husband and I have quit our jobs and now solely work from home by producing and selling things from our homestead lifestyle. There is so much more to our story but that is the gist of it. For more details on what we do and how we live, feel free to visit us at 3cornersfarm.com.
So...I am going to start where I left off which was Sunday, April 25th. That was the first day in a long time that we had some rain and it was much needed, and very refreshing! A neighbor brought up the fact that we haven't gotten much rain this spring which is concerning when looking ahead toward summer. I have been too busy enjoying the nice weather that I hadn't even thought about that. This was also the day that we woke up to new wood laminate flooring in the kitchen and living rooms. Finally! No more living with subflooring, which was supposed to be temporary but turned into months! Other then that, this day was feeding the family, tending the animals, driving to town for our daughter's theater practice, and continuing working on the floor. It was a busy and blessed day.
My journal entry for the next day, Monday, April 26, reminds me that I had to take Megan to the quick care clinic the previous evening because she had stubbed one of her big toes awhile back, and it cracked the nail. Over this particular weekend, it had become angry, inflamed, and swollen. It had to be drained and Megan was put on an antibiotic. She was a super trooper! It was not fun but she was definitely ready to get it addressed so healing could commence. I started my Monday off by driving to the pharmacy for the prescription. This day was followed up by Travis and I attending a meeting at 3:00 at our bank, to establish this 3 Corners Farm into a business by setting up a business account for it. A few other random happenings that I had noted were of Blake and Travis, who went to see Mortal Combat at the theater that night because Blake had been wanting to see it for ages. Travis kept saying they could go later, but I am glad I convinced him to take Blake that night because by Friday, the theater was shut down again thanks to Covid. That day was also the day our old Labrador, Teddy, ate one of the pony's pain pills. Teddy helped himself to Chewy's feed bucket when my back was turned, getting hay. Thankfully, the medication is dog friendly, it was just at a super high dose. Teddy was, and is, okay, but he certainly had no pain that day! It was a bit of an overwhelming day, but in a fantastic way.
Tuesday, April 27 was a beautiful, sunny day! Everyone was busy doing their various things in their various places. Travis was working at the garden land in the morning and on-line in the afternoon. Megan was on-line schooling. Blake went to in-person school, and Trevor bummed around home until he went to work at the Mosier Market later in the day. I was baking banana breads (number one seller), catching up on housework, and shuffling Megan to theater practice that day. My heart was heavy because I knew this was Chewy, the pony's, last full day on earth. I brushed him, which he hated, and tried to love on him, but he was busy munching on grass in the field with Willow since he never normally was allowed to eat it due to his blood sugar issues. He really just wanted me to leave him alone. So, I just sat near them and admired them. The previous day, my knees and joints had been horribly achy (I have an autoimmune disease that flares up from time to time), and I wondered if that was how Chewy felt a lot of the time. His inner bone damage was severe, so the joint pain would be worse for him. If that is how Chewy felt every day...My heart was breaking for him.
Wednesday, April 28. Thankfully, a volunteer drove Blake to school this day because there is not bussing on Wednesdays, (long story) but I am signed up to help in that car pool next time. Travis was home but busy working in an on-line meeting. Megan had a phone video appointment with a mental health professional that morning, which went longer than I thought, however, I liked how thorough this doctor was. Megan has great anxiety. She has since she was little. I have always supported and helped her through, but I'm not sure if it's due to this past years whacky events and changes, or adolescence kicking in, but Megan's anxiety intensified. She started having panic attacks that were very scary for her and heartbreaking for me to watch her go through. I decided it was time to seek outside help. I am not afraid to talk about mental health. Next up was one of the toughest moments of my life. The vet arrived at the same time as the cremation company with their truck. I brought Chewy out of the pasture where he had been hanging out with Willow, and we said good-bye. It was all over in a matter of minutes. Chewy was not stressed and he did not even fight sedation. Even the vet gave him a kiss because she had treated him during the whole past year and everyone was sad to see him go. I brought him with us on our little farm as far as I could, and he is a big part of the blog stories over our past year. Vet care, medications, special diet, farrier care, special boots...you name it. We went through it with this pony. But his blood sugars and the bone damage in his hooves proved to be more than his little system could handle. He became ill and stopped eating and drinking much. I knew it was his time. While his send off was beautiful and peaceful, the rest of that day was lived through a blur of tears and a bit of anger at how unfair life is sometimes! I cry tears even now as I type this because I miss his little self so very much. But he can now be free to run and graze with no more illness and no more pain.
Thursday, April 29 was overcast but hot. I had let so much go around the house and farm due to mourning for Chewy and just mentally working myself, and my inner strength, up to the day of his passing. I still struggled to motivate myself to clean or accomplish daily tasks. They seemed both daunting and menial at the same time, but on this day a bunch of people from the community decided they needed home made bread, so I ended up baking several loaves of banana bread, some white breads, and a cinnamon loaf. I was happy to do it because it kept me busy and was comforting in its own way. I was beginning to feel the relief of letting Chewy go. No more soaking of hay, counting pills, scooping his stall and round pen. No more worry. No more watching him struggle to walk. I spent a lot of time with Willow the horse and Clover the goat. They somehow instinctively seemed to understand what had transpired. When I say that Chewy was not well, I don't mean that lightly. Even the other animals knew how fragile he was. Willow called a lot for him in that first day, but I stayed out in the pasture with her for hours. She knew my sadness but she also knew I was calm and centered. That was an important communication tool to pass to Willow. I saved my tears for when I went into the house, but when I comforted Willow, it was with confidence and reassurance that SHE would be okay. She got through it far better than I ever expected. Travis and I even took Willow and the goat for a walk around the gravel roads. It was lovely to see Willow move beyond her field again. Chewy was unable to walk with us for a long time so she never wanted to leave. This was proof that she had accepted his presence was no longer with us.
April 30, Friday. It was a windy, overcast day. Things got busy! Travis was still going to the Odell lot daily and starting to see the fruits of his labor because the Arugula had been sprouting up, and he was able to harvest some to sell. I was finishing my bread orders. Trevor went to work and mentioned that the Mosier Market would be interested in selling some of our produce and breads. Blake also went to work helping some neighbors clear trees and brush from their land. He attends a charter school that has Fridays off. Megan was on-line for school that day and trying to catch up on some late science assignments. Let me just say, "Phew!" She was reading some of the questions and multiple choice options out loud to me, and it was intense! No wonder she is struggling in that class. Plus the assignments are all very challenging and back to back. Blake assured her the hardest work happens in middle school and that by high school things will mellow out. Haha.
Willow and I are adjusting to a life without Chewy. It still hurts our hearts sometimes when something occurs that reminds us of him and that he is no longer with us, but we will be okay. Clover the goat did not seem affected by the change, at least that I can tell. Travis has been so wonderful and kind to put up with me and all my animals. Especially through the hard and expensive parts. He loved Chewy too but knows this was the best decision for him.
May 1, Saturday. Happy May Day! Blake had gotten vaccinated the previous evening so his arm was very sore this day. We picked up Chewy's ashes this day. I really didn't get emotional about it because I have never gone through the cremation experience, and I honestly don't know what to do with this wooden box of Chewy's ashes. I have decided to keep it until Willow's journey into the afterlife, at which time I will spread their ashes out to pasture, together. Before I could give it any further thought, we got an email that Megan's theater practice for the next day was cancelled due to Covid. This was a hard day. A hard week in fact! It was near impossible not to feel the heaviness of the world. The last sentence in my journal for this day reads, "Also, we need rain."
May 2, Sunday. I am so grateful that Willow seems to be back to her normal self. Travis and I made a video blog for 3 Corners Farm but now we need to edit it. Travis finished the flooring in the laundry room and I finally got the house cleaned up and in order again. The kids got to spend the day on electronics. I don't know how they can sit and do that all day. I would go stir crazy. We also had a relative stop by and see the farm for the first time. It was lovely to visit with someone and show them around. We sent her home with farm fresh eggs and a big bag of Arugula. We polished off the night with a pot roast that had been in the slow cooker all day. This simple day did my heart so good.
May 3, Monday. Here we are in today. I am so glad to start a new week and leave the last one in the past! I am ready to move forward and looking forward to getting some exercise out in nature today! It has been a wild life lately. It only makes me more grateful for all of it. I am so blessed by all the people who helped me give Chewy the best life over the past year and four months. He was worth every penny and every sacrifice. Because others helped donate to his medical needs, he lived a whole year of his life in good health, which is something he never experienced in YEARS prior to living on our farm. I was hoping to carry him through with us longer, but he was done fighting and I would never deny him peace.
With tears in my eyes, and love in my heart, I thank you all for following along in our journey. I love each and every one of you out there and hope that you have a loving family and people in your life that support you and see you through life's journeys.
May you all be blessed, happy, and well. Until my next blog, take care of each other,
Amy Darr
3 Corners Farm
Mosier, Oregon U.S.A.
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